What Is Love Really? Is it an Emotion? Is it an Experience? Is it an Action? Is it a state of Being? Is it US by virtue of simply being in a sacred sanctuary we call the human body? Is it everything, all inclusive, ALL THERE IS? Are we each and every one of us the manifestation of the Energy of Love itself? If Love is ALL THERE IS and we really believe that, how do we more easily employ that perspective in our life? How are we cracked open into LIVING IT?
What is the pathway to center us right in the middle of who we truly are?
There is a place within all of us that I refer to as the “Holy Neutral”.
It is a place where we hold the perspective that all things are created equal. That everything is acceptable in the eyes of LOVE. One thing is not better than another but that all things are valid by virtue of their existence. That’s a tough nut to crack when we are feeling emotions or engaged in dynamics or circumstances that cause us discomfort.
So perhaps this is the catalyst to shape us into our greatest potential. What if we perceived ourselves, others, the world as pure perfection as it is right here right now? Would that change our body chemistry, our hormonal secretions, the subsequent emotions, our behavioral interactions and ultimately how we feel about ourselves, others and the world?
But what if we are attempting to come from this holy neutral place simply to protect our hearts and avoid having the experience of certain emotions. It’s a tricky thing because we can use any tool, even being neutral to avoid some aspect of ourselves. And, even using the tool of avoidance is inclusive in the Energy of Love.
Nevertheless, this time is an opportunity to step deeply inside ourselves and embrace the perspective of the HOLY NEUTRAL i.e. LOVE. Looking through this holy neutral lens (LOVE) we are in a better position to perceive our external world, the DRAMA TRIANGLE and all of the Victim, Perpetrator and Rescuer personas with whom we have so easily been conditioned to identify. We can see where we seat ourselves depending on the situation and get curious about its teachings.
On 4/28/20, my beloved Kirk, selected a movie to watch called “Warrior” on Netflix. Normally, it is not the kind of movie I would watch. It was about 2 brothers that grew up with an alcoholic father. Tommy, the younger brother fled with his mother and ended up enlisting into the Marines after watching his mother die from an illness. Brendan, the other brother, left, married and became a school teacher of physics. Both men were trained as fighters.
The story goes that Brendan, fell on hard times because his daughter needed a heart surgery and his financial situation fell into disarray. The bank was to foreclosure on his house. He decided to get back into the ring to make the money to keep his family afloat. It was winner take all and the fight was a brutal mix of martial arts and boxing. Nobody wins unless someone SURRENDERS!
Tommy, returned from service to the father’s home and asked him to train him. Tommy asked his father only for the father’s expertise and by no stretch was this a reconciliation nor did he trust his father. “The devil you know if better than the devil you don’t know”, he exclaimed. He was angry beyond words and all of his contracted body language expressed such disdain for his father for abandoning him through his alcoholism.
Interestingly enough, a fighter’s training encompasses not only breathing techniques but classical music to relax, open and expand their system.
I knew the ending well before it unfolded on the screen. What was Tommy really there for? What was his rage protecting him from? Clearly, he wanted connection with his father but could not expose his vulnerable longings nor his tender well protected heart.
There were a series of interactions in the movie that exposed such tremendous VULNERABILITY, which led to a complete and utter SURRENDER which unleashed so much LOVE/CONNECTION that the characters were able to RECEIVE LOVE!!!!! How many of our situations are created to open us up to more RECEIVING!!
To see these two men fight in the way they did only to arrive at a place of love by the end of the fight shook my whole body to the core. The pendulum was swinging so far from the absence of love over to the fullness of love in the most intense moment and it came from a place of utter SURRENDER!
Our capacity for wholeness is so INSPIRING!
I went upstairs and cried for quite some time. The movie wreaked havoc on my nervous system and I did not sleep all night. Clearly, there is some resonance in my system or else it would not move me to the extent that it did.
How many of us walk around with a somewhat protected heart and actually notice it for what it truly is! How many of us allow that to be OK? To not have judgment about where we are at and offer ourselves soft, undulating, compassionate words for the events that have preceded us? For the things that have shaped us? How many of us believe & LIVE it all as LOVE and it is just to what intensity we are allowing ourselves to experience on the continuum.
In other words, Love is all there is and when we are feeling angry, hurt, shame, guilt, anxious and so forth, it is just a duller version (different flavor) of Love. No bias! When you look at it that way then we are able to forgive ourselves and step into full acceptance of ourselves, others and the world around us. It is from that more empowered place of FULL SURRENDER (however it comes) that we learn more about our personal authenticity and are able to express our passions and preferences more fully. Then we are enriched with a repertoire of emotions on a wider continuum which supports our ability to relate compassionately to others and foster connection.
Finally, I have always believed that if an individual has the capacity and ability to feel things on one end of the continuum, then they also have the ability and capacity to experience on the other end of the spectrum. In our personal expansion, we are learning to release judgement and control over whatever state of being we are in.
We are learning that everything that is happening, is happening FOR us not TO US!
The next time you are experiencing a challenging emotion.
Sit down and breathe for 15 minutes. Really immerse yourself in the emotion and sensations.
Describe it scientifically to yourself. Use a vocabulary that describes energy.
Ex: prickly, flowing, jagged, forceful, punctuated, tingling
Begin to think in terms of the “Holy Neutral”